Lucy the Lyricist!
by Tasty-Pie
Summary: Lucy Heartfilia; Her life's now become a jumbled mess! She's kidnapped by ninjas - who turned out to be her favourite band in disguise - to become their lyricist, she's forced to deal with their pranks shot at her every second, and the dreamy, claimer of her heart, Natsu Dragneel. Oh jeez. What could possibly go wrong? "Lucy, wash my underwear." "W-WHAT? NO WAY, BAKA-NATSU!" [NaLu]


**Jeez. Just what we needed. ****_Another _****cliché story-line/plot...when will this nightmare end!? ...I'm asuming that's what a few of you are thinking? Well, may I say that, this is not just ****_any _****story! :D It is a- well...a story...! B-But - hopefully - it's a good one! At least, I think it might be, considering I write the Author's Note before even starting the crap...but, I'm not going to doubt myself! I. Will. Become the ruler of this world! :3 **

**...Bet you didn't see ****_that _****comin'! ...Maybe you did...ANYWHO! Enough of my stupid, pointless bickering! Time to start this bitch! **

**Now...GET READING! And you ****_better _****like it or else I'll find you, and...eat you [yep, this is my attempt at being abso-fucking-lutley hilarious! It works well, eh? *sigh*]. **

**Oh and, this story contain quite a ****_bit _****of OOC-ness, so forgive me, pleesh! OwO**

**Pointless Disclaimer: I don't frikken own Fairy Tail. [If I did, Natsu would be Lucy's bitch. :3]**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE SONGS USED IN THIS FAN-FICTION. **

* * *

_:: Prologue :: _

"I QUIT!" yelled the furious employee, throwing down the pile of sheets which were scribbled with song lyrics. "These idiots are impossible! Makarov, this is the fifty-fucking-seventh prank they've pulled on me this _week_! And that's not even in the record!" She began storming toward the exit to the building before a small, wrinkled hand reached out and clutched onto her long shirt.

"Claire! W-Wait! I'm sure we can work something out! Th-They can apologise! Natsu, Gray, Loke, Gajeel! Get your sorry asses in this room _now_!" shouted Makarov, tapping his small foot impatiently on the ground as he released Claire. He folded his arms and grit his teeth, glaring at the four boys who were peeping around the corner.

The pissed-off lyricist stood next to the small elderly man, a twitching eyebrow as she watched the goofy boys walk around the corner and stand in front of her with straight, polite postures.

They all grinned nervously at the furious brunette, which ended up angering her even more.

The four boys gulped nervously (except for Gajeel of course). "Sorry." they all said through grinning.

Claire all stared them down before her eyes widened and she leaped to her right. "Oh no you don't!" she yelled when suddenly a load of paint came spilling down, completely covering their midget counsellor Makarov. "See what I _mean_! Pfft! I'm out of here, bitches!" Claire hit her chest twice and gave them all a peace before - faster than any of them had ever seen - grabbing her stuff and sprinting, not jogging, _sprinting _with all her might, into the elevator.

"I'm FREE!" they all heard her yell.

Natsu, Gray, Loke and Gajeel all burst into a fit of laughter. "SCORE!" they shouted, completely unaware of the infuriated midget standing before them all. He was completely covered in red paint. In fact, so covered, he seemed like just a small, over-sized red blob of sopping paint that was already beginning to dry in his whitish-grey hair.

"You boys..." he muttered darkly under his breath. The four boys looked down at him with smiles of accomplishment.

"Such a perfect strike, eh, old man!" Natsu exclaimed, fist-pumping the air. Makarov's small hand reached up to his wrinkled face and wiped away the paint. He had his eyes shut calmly before looking up at the boys.

"Well...YOU'RE ALL DEAD!" he shouted, a golden aura surrounding him. The boys all screamed girlishly and took off down the hallway of the massive building. "ANOTHER LYRICIST, GONE! HOW MANY HAS IT BEEN THIS YEAR, YOU IDIOTS!? I'VE LOST COUNT!"

"Shit!" squealed Natsu, as they all split up to cover more ground. All of a sudden, Natsu froze at the sound of loud, thunderous footsteps were heard from the end of the hall. He turned slowly and cautiously around. No one. He let out a long sigh of relief and turned back around, only to be face-to-face with a very - how do I say? - ..._grumpy_, Makarov.

Natsu froze as the red-tinted man stared at him, fury in his eyes. "THESE WERE MY GOOD CLOTHES!" he yelled in Natsu's blue, frightened face. "NOW, YOU DIE!" The small man's fist met Natsu's cheek and sent the pink-haired lead-singer shooting down the hall and into a hard, light-blue plastered wall.

Makarov practically _flew_ at the half dead Natsu and kicked his into the stomach, sending him even further into the shattered wall. "And now, you've gotta repair this, because I ain't doin' shit." murmured Makarov, walking silently down the hall to find the other boys.

Natsu flopped onto the ground. He face-planted the ground had his butt sticking up with his arms dropped lazily to his sides. All he could mutter out was, "O-Ouch..."

* * *

"Lu-chan, you pinky-swore!" cried a certain blue-haired bookworm. She threw her head back and cried animatedly.

Lucy smiled and let out a cough, making sure to cover her mouth when doing so. "I know, Levi-chan. I'm just not feeling well, you know?"

Levi sighed and straightened herself. She pouted and looked away from her blonde-haired friend. "Yeah. I know...but, it's the new release! C-Can't you just come! I mean, I don't want to go alone! And, I _really _wanna take care of you but, I don't want to miss on getting you the new copy! But I'll take care of you if you want." she smiled with a single nod of determination.

Lucy smiled at Levi and pulled her into a hug. "It's okay. Go get the copy! But remember to bring me back one! Here's the money." Lucy handed her blue-haired friend a small bag of jewels. Levi shook her head and wrapped a hand around Lucy's one, placing the jewel sack back into her hand. Lucy looked at her friend and tilted her head.

"I'll pay for it! My treat! And anyway, it can be an early birthday prezzy from me!"

Lucy's face brightened up, but she didn't want to trouble her friend. "No, it's oka-"

"Nuh uh! I'm. Paying. For. It. Besides, I know how much you're dieing to read it! But then again, who wouldn't! Haa. The Adventures in Fairy Tail! It makes me dream just thinking about it! Anyway! I better get going or all the copies are gonna be sold out! See ya soon!" smiled Levi before waving and running down the apartment complexes' hall.

Lucy waved back before walking back into her apartment, shutting the door lightly behind her. She leaned against the door and looked up at the ceiling and letting out a small sneeze.

She groaned lazily and wobbled over to her bedroom. Oh yes, her bedroom! The great room that bestowed her large, soft, cottony bed. She gave a run-up-jump and leaped onto the bed, despite her throbbing headache. She held her head and groaned before snuggling further into the thick bed covers while allowing the cool feeling of the AC to flow along her sweating body.

Her room was completely dark, thanks to the dark-brown curtains Erza had given to her. Beside the fact the apartment was small and being rented by her, it was a perfect little home for _just _her, despite the ever-so-common sleepover her friends would beckon her for.

Lucy's chocolate-brown eyes blinked open and she glanced over at her iPod dock. With a lazy sigh she hoisted herself up and faltered over to it. She swiped the screen a few times and began playing a song.

Her eyes suddenly alight with stars as her ears get fingered by the beautiful sound of her favourite band, Kunimatsu, beginning to play.

**[A/N: I literally searched up a Japanese band name generator and that was the only one that seemed short and easy to write/remember...O-O]**

_Let's drop!_  
_Yeah, come on_  
_Shake, shake_

_I'll take you home_  
_If you don't leave me at the front door_  
_(Leave me at the front door)_  
_Your body's cold_  
_But girl, we're getting so warm_  
_And I was thinking of ways that I could get inside_  
_(Get inside)_

_Tonight you're falling in love_  
_(Let me go now)_  
_This feeling's tearing me up_  
_(Here we go now)_

By now, Lucy was too busy dancing around the room crazily (beside her sickness), to notice the invasion of four well-dressed "ninjas".

_Now, if she does it like this_  
_Will you do it like that?_  
_Now, if she touches like this_  
_Will you touch her right back?_  
_Now, if she moves like this_  
_Will you move it like that?_  
_Come on_

[**SONG NAME: Shake it - by, Metro Station]**

The ninjas moved swiftly into her room, well, three of them did at least. The forth one - I'll give you a clue, his name rhymes with Gajeel. Wait...god dang it! - was to "busy" as he made himself comfortable on the couch, waiting for the other three ninjas to complete their duty.

"Hey, is she listening to our song?" asked Ninja 1 (Natsu). The three looked at eachother and smirks were visible from behind their masks.

"Must be a fan." muttered Ninja 3 (Loke), his eyes shining from behind his blue-tinted glasses.

"Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" asked Ninja 2 (Gray), crossing his arms as they all stood outside Lucy's bedroom door. Natsu shook his head.

"No. I did some research on her. Apparently she's been studying in University to become a professional song writer and help small bands on getting popular in the music business." stated Ninja 1.

"For an idiot, you know quite a bit about things." scoffed Ninja 2 quietly. Ninja 1 glared at Ninja 2.

"What'd you say, ice princess?" he growled.

"You heard me!"

"Guys!" interuppted Ninja 3, hitting them both over the heads, to which they glared at him for. "Shut up! We don't want her to-"

"KYYYAAAAAAAAAA! KIDNAPPERS! PERVERTS! N...NINJAS!?" screeched Lucy, grabbing a nearby broom. The boys all jumped up and screamed in fright.

"WOAH! It's okay! Put the broom down, and no one gets hurt!" instructed Ninja 3

"Like fuck I'm putting the broom down! Wh-W-Wha-WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE AND WHO ARE YOU!?"

"You wouldn't believe us if we told you..." Ninja 1 stated dramatically. Lucy stared at him before screaming again.

"Jesus! I'm being secretly recorded aren't I!? This is some kind of shit joke! Come out, cameramen! Come on!"

"You're not being recorded, bunny-girl!" sighed Ninja 4.

**[A/N: By the way, the song finished due to their idiotic arguing. :3]**

"B-Bunny-girl?" muttered Lucy with a raised eyebrow. Ninja 1 took the opportunity of her confusion and grabbed her, throwing her over his shoulder while using his hand to cover her mouth. Lucy kicked and flailed, but before she could do anything, there was a puff of smoke and they were mystically out of the building, leaving the confused tenants in the other houses confused and very humoured (even though she was just kidnapped).

* * *

**Somewhere in Naruto land~ **

"Th-That was a v-very strange occurrence..." laughed Hinata Hyuga awkwardly.

"I agree with you, Hinata-sama." joined Neji with a single nod.

"That was awesome!" laughed Sakura, throwing an arm over Hinata's shoulder. "We should kidnap Sasuke." she whispered in Hinata's ear. Hinata shot back and shook her head wildly. "Okay, you can kidnap Naruto!"

Hinata thought for a moment, blushed and nodded in agreement before the two frolicked off to kidnap their loves.

"SAKURA-SAN! What have you done to Hinata-sama!?" cried Neji, pursuing the two giggling dramatically.

* * *

**OKAY! DONE! **

**Hope you liked the ending! Any Hinata/Sakura haters in your review (if you post one), I'm gonna mother-fucking kamakaze you. I do respect your opinion, but I don't wanna hear your shitty hate on them, so *puts on glasses* DEAL WITH IT. **

**Oh and, if you don't know what 'Naruto' is, what frikken rock have you been living under!? You. Have. Got. TO. WATCH IT! *glomps you* I hate to admit it, but I love it more than Fairy Tail! :D :D c:**

**But anywho! Hope you liked the chapter! And sorry if it was so short! It's a really hot day (Australia, why must you be so hot!?), so yeah. Cut me some slack. :333 *huggles chu***

**R-Review? I LOVE ZEM SU MUSH! (Translation: I love them so much!)**

**-Tasty-Pie, out!**


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